TONY BLAIR POPPING UP FROM THE POTTY: The Turd that Won’t Flush Away

Aug. 12 (EIRNS)–Regarding Tony Blair’s return to power to bring
back the glory days of Labour, the London Observer (the Sunday
edition of the Guardian) has it right. A hilarious column by
Stewart Lee is illustrated with a cartoon of an ordinary toilet,
with Tony Blair’s smiling head coming out, with text balloon:
“Me, Again.” The title is: Movement afoot to return Tony Blair to
Labour’s Seat of Power?  (get it?)  Written in the first person
with the author joining a group of “young Mums” while he is
babysitting his own child, he says:
“June’s friend’s friend, the New Labour guy, is having
terrible trouble with his plumbing?” “Erectile dysfunction?”
“No,” said Pauline, “a problem with his actual plumbing. They had
to get a man last month because for about five days there was a
number two that just wouldn’t flush away. It wasn’t especially
big but what was weird was it looked like Tony Blair.” The mums
shrieked with laughter. “What do you mean, it looked like Tony
Blair?” I asked, smelling a story. “Did it look like the whole of
him, with arms and legs, or just his face?” “Just his face, I
think,” said Pauline. “I don’t really know. I’m not supposed to
say anything. Apparently the spin guys are really worried about
the story getting out.”
“The next day, I myself had to call a plumber. I had
accidentally put cat litter crystals into the dishwasher salt
compartment and they needed to be sucked out by a professional. I
don’t know anything about sport so I volunteered: “Hey.
Apparently there’s a New Labour politician round here and last
month he had to call a plumber because there was a turd with the
face of Tony Blair that he couldn’t flush away.” “Walls have
ears,” the plumber laughed, adjusting his turban. “That was one
of my call-outs. It was really like Tony Blair too.” “In what
way?” I asked. “That’s the funny thing,” the plumber said. “It
didn’t really look like him, but it just was really like him. It
was obviously him. It seemed evil. And it was smiling. And no one
in the family could remember having done it.”

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